Universalberner:
You ever notice nobody hides anything anymore?
Ziplocdon:
That’s because hiding is old technology. You hide something, people look for it. You put it right in front of them? Invisible.
Universalberner:
Exactly. Everybody expected ships in the sky. Nobody expected aliens to show up every day wearing reflective vests and carrying clipboards.
Ziplocdon:
You laugh, but think about it. Same guy at the gas station. Same woman crossing the street. Same pigeon that somehow makes eye contact every morning.
Universalberner:
You think pigeons?
Ziplocdon:
No. Too obvious.
Universalberner:
So what are they doing?
Ziplocdon:
Field research.
Universalberner:
On what?
Ziplocdon:
Human rituals.
Universalberner:
Like war? Politics? Technology?
Ziplocdon:
No. Way stranger.
Universalberner leans in.
Go on.
Ziplocdon:
Why people open the fridge six times hoping new food appears.
Universalberner:
That… actually tracks.
Ziplocdon:
Why somebody says “I’m leaving now” then stands at the front door talking another forty-five minutes.
Universalberner:
Advanced civilization wouldn’t understand that.
Ziplocdon:
Nobody understands that.
Universalberner:
So they’ve been here every day?
Ziplocdon:
Every day.
Universalberner:
And nobody noticed?
Ziplocdon:
People noticed. They just got bills due at five.
Universalberner:
What if they finally introduce themselves?
Ziplocdon:
They already did.
Universalberner:
When?
Ziplocdon:
Every time somebody said, “You had to be there.”
(Long silence.)
Universalberner:
That made absolutely no sense.
Ziplocdon:
Exactly. That’s how you know it’s true.
[Both stare suspiciously at a passing squirrel.]
